I. The Letter As the chill of the November air slowly creeps down your scaly spine—still the memory lingers. You’re taken back to that night; that cold, dark, sad night as you wrote down the words concealed in a letter addressed to a dear friend. They were the words, the silly little words—the words that bleed red in love, the ones that could significantly change your life forever. On an impulse, without thinking, you tell him everything. How you will never forget the way he made you feel, the way he makes you smile, even though he is no longer around. You watch him, still in the distance and yet you keep falling—slowly. II. To: Knowing As much as you didn’t want to admit how the faint sound of his name makes your entire body cringe, he needed to know and you needed to tell him. Knowing he will not feel the same way, you keep writing because if anyone, he’s the person who will understand. He’s been there. He’s had those feelings. You have watched him in the distance for the past seven years. He is flighty like a nervous sparrow as he moves from relationship to relationship, his mood switches off and on like a light. You have studied the way his body moves, you like the confidence of his walk as he quickly rushes past you, yet he notices; he cares. He makes you mad, but you keep writing because you know he will be honest. He’s your friend. III. To: Being Honest. You tell him all the things you admire: how you love his gentle heart, his kindness for others because those are the things that outweigh everything. In those moments, the moments that you wrote that letter you didn’t care. You were sick of living a lie. You were sick of letting your fear hinder you from telling the truth. You were sick of being afraid of the words, the silly little words; the ones that bleed red in love. The words, the ones that could pierce through your skin like a sword. Yet you keep writing because you know he will listen. You know he will hear you calling. He is your friend; he cares. IV. To: Courage In those moments, the moments you wrote that letter you didn’t care. You didn’t care if he had a significant other. You didn’t care about all the other girls that chased after him. You didn’t care if you stood a chance because he was the person that you were meant to lose yourself to. Even though you already knew what the outcome of his response would be you keep writing because he is the person who gave you the courage to be strong. V. To: Remembering You often ask yourself why you told him these things and then you remember the way he treated you. The way he never failed to ask you how you were doing. The way he touched the small of your back, the way he always pulled you in for a warm embrace. You remember how you felt safe being in his arms. You remember the way he complimented you. You remember the sound of his high-pitched laugh every time you said something awkward. He didn’t care. He still talked to you like nothing happened. You do not remember the exact day he walked into your life, but you do remember the season. It was spring and sun—it was shining in the darkness of his vampire eyes. You were taken back by his half smile. At first it there wasn’t so much a of a connection, but over time your attraction to him grew. It was not physical, but rather it was emotional. You’re writing this letter because you love him and at one point in your life he told you he loved you too. You remember, it lingers. You don’t know how to express the way you feel so you keep writing and as you’re writing, your words—they start to fumble, but you don’t care. VI. To: Not Caring You don’t care if he smokes the occasional cigarette, hangs out with Jane, or that he is a flighty little bird. You don’t care if he is different than you because after all, you’re the same in more ways than one. You have watched each other in the distance for the past seven years, you have both chased after love in the wrong places. You have both loved, but have never been truly appreciated and in those moments you wrote that letter, you didn’t care. You don’t care that he is imperfect because he’s perfect to you. VII. To: Understanding Even though you knew what the outcome of his response would be, you didn’t care, you wanted to tell him how important he is to you and how you will always be there for him no matter what; because if anything just being his friend is a true honor. Yes, he is the person who broke your heart two years ago, but it was done so very gently that you cannot hate him because you understand. VIII. To: Heartbreak You heard him when he said, “I can’t;” that right now he had to figure out his life. You heard him when he said “thank you” for always being such a big supporter and that he would always be there, if you ever needed a friend he was only a text or phone call away. You can’t even be upset. You can’t even be angry. You can’t even stomp your feet on the ground or hear the immense crunch of the earth crumbling beneath you because you know. You know that he would never intentionally hurt or reject you because he cares. He is your friend and you would never want him to feel unhappy if being unhappy meant being with you. As you write these words on this very page, you almost become sad. XI. To: Sadness You’re sad that you may never get to experience love with such an incredibly beautiful man, person, and friend. However, his response was kind of open ended, you can take it the way you want, but you know the truth. You know him. You have studied every crease, every crinkle—every line in his face like they’re your favorite poem. You don’t care, so you keep writing. X. To: The Unknown You’re writing these words that bleed red in love because you do not understand why nearly four years have gone by and he still remains to be the only man you ever think about. You don’t understand why the thought of this man makes you fragile. You don’t understand why this man has had such an immense impact on your life over the past seven years. Maybe it’s because he has always shown you respect. You don’t understand why you keep holding on so you turn to God for the answer.
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Editorial Staff
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